I am in Finland!

7:45 AM;
walking from the bus 75 stop to school;
a 5 minute walk through a narrow two way street;
enjoying a song by John Mayer;
not too cold; not too dark;
the street beautifully covered with snow;
I am walking right in the middle of the street!

A car gently passes me by and quietly goes back to its lane!

Smile on my face: I'm in Finland!

Feeling a bit embarrassed about my total oblivion to walking in the middle of the road, I quickly move to the right, where the sidewalk would be, hidden under all the snow (roads are not salted here and snow removal seems limited to major streets). At the same time, I find it rather charming how the driver kindly found his way around me without feeling the urge to break the early morning peace and silence in order to demand his presence acknowledged. After all, this is Finland.

It has been rather quiet this year. Many exchange students and new friends have left Helsinki and my social life is a bit calmer. No longer do I face with the dilemma of which party to attend on the weekend. But the good thing is that I no longer feel like a tourist here. It's a bit too quiet at times, but the school and projects keep me busy. I try to swim regularly and I appreciate Sauna more than I did before.

It's sometimes easy to forget where I am! I live my life in English here. I actually hear very little Finnish around me. The masters program is conducted in English and everyone speaks English pretty well. Having lived through the Canadian winter, the Finnish winter feels just like home. I could be anywhere really, but then again, some days, there are little reminders.

Last day!

December 31^st, grey Helsinki sky and drizzle, listening to some cheesy song by a Swedish band, the last day is half-full!

What a year it has been! full of movement and change, new experiences, emotions and new insights. I know! I didn’t keep up with the promised regular blog postings. There were lots to write about: many stories, end of summer, Helsinki, pleasant surprises, Finns, interesting exchange students, new friendships, acquaintances, the ballerina, Stadion Hostel, move to Kontula, the intro course, the search for the dark/duck/water, laughter, many house parties, themes, costumes, metro, the night bus, SMS, Skype, sharing, the full moon, walking through the night, sleep over, getting acquainted, many questions, identity, school, direction, choices, projects, many group works, those that progressed smoothly, those full of frustration, IDBM, TeliaSonera, meetings, pointless meetings, endless meetings, presentations, experiences to be designed, concert, The Hidden Cameras, Tavastia Klubi, three dances, TEAK, Student Theater, Swedish improvised theater, interviews, the e-mail, kind rejection, carry on, trips, Ottawa, Montreal, London, Helsinki, Fiskars, Stockholm, New York, Montreal, and Ruka (a few Kilometers short of Lapland), friends and family, home, Reservoir & GOGO, catching up, friends, strange night, why?,anxiety, visits, border crossings, good talks, road trip, trains and luggage, birthday above Atlantic, disappointments, some mixed messages, some clarity, emotions, shades of L-words?, sleepless nights, due dates, persona, scenario, stress band, the savior, Converse, gold, bargain, skies, ski trip, sauna, parties again, silly poem, dance, light, happiness, lost & found, KY (the HSE student union) & early morning sauna, goodbyes, Yalda, pomegranates, Joulutorttu, Glöggi, German Christmas cookies, improvisation, presents, awaiting, Finnish Christmas, calm and quiet, uncertainty, silence, sleep, puffy eyes, matters of heart, movies, music, solitude, coffee, half pastry, talks & thesis, friendship, and in few hours, the New Year's eve party somewhere I don’t know!

Happy New Year everyone!

"I can be whoever I want!"

It’s only the second day of school and I have already made a number of good friends. I think I'll enjoy it here! Who said that it would be hard to become friends with the Finns?! My experience has been quite positive so far. Despite what I had read, people do talk in trams and the famous silence everyone wrote about seems to be something of the past!

A big group of us went out tonight. It was the famous “Night of Arts” in Helsinki. Held since 1989, this event is the highlight of the Helsinki Festival drawing tens of thousands of people to the night's various events. On this night, Museums offer free admission, galleries remain open until midnight, music is played in parks and churches, dance groups and orchestras perform on street corners and various events are held in bars and restaurants in the city center.

We met at the entrance of the central railway station and after an hour of walking around and checking out few street performances under the rain, we went to a pub. In the basement of the pub you could catch a performance by a group of young actors who improvised short comedy acts based on the words the audience provided them. My Finnish friends, Ville, Andrei and their girlfriends kindly acted as my personal translators. We stayed there for couple of hours and then Ville, suggested checking out a cocktail party at Ylioppilastalo. There, you could purchase drink tickets for 6 Euros and enjoy cocktail drinks mixed by renowned Finnish bartenders and see live performances by various Finnish bands. After catching an energetic performance by a group of young Finnish Reggae musicians, it was already passed 1:30 am. Mikki Väino, Ville’s brother, and two German friends, who also stayed at the same hostel as I, were not yet ready to call it a night. Mikki asked us if we wanted to join him for a drink of wine at the Helsinki harbour. To my surprise, he had a bottle of Spanish red wine and a big corkscrew in his pocket! We walked to the harbour, sat near the water and opened the bottle. We chatted for almost an hour and discussed many things from the fall of the strategic Island of Suomenlinna to Mikki’s school and his study plans. He talked about the Finnish education system and the country’s social values and how the young Finns have the opportunity to pursue any career they wish. “In Finland,” he said, “I can be whoever I want!”

What a powerful feeling.

The TAIK Maze

University of Art and Design Helsinki (UIAH or TAIK in Finnish) is the largest art and design school in Scandinavia. The school is founded in 1871, but has been in its present location, the old Arabia ceramic factory building, only since 1987. The school has numerous studios from ceramics, glass blowing, fashion and industrial design, to Motion picture and Television studios. Due to mold problems, most administrative offices have moved to the newer part of the building where the library and the school cafeteria are also located. This building, which is adjacent to the current Arabia factory, also houses the iittala/Arabia factory outlet store and a furniture store.

Finding various departments appears to be easy since there is clear signage everywhere, but the path one must take in order to go from one floor to another requires more creativity! For example, the main entrance to the building takes one to the 2^nd floor! To go to the office of the student union, TOKYO, which is located in the basement, one must take the stairs up! Three flights of stairs would take one to level 4! There is an elevator right in front of the staircase that would take one down to level 1. Then, one would need to find the one and only elevator down the hall that goes to level K (the basement). Now going to see Helena, the International Student Counselor, on the 3^rd floor of the new building from the TOKYO office is a different story. To do this, one must first take the elevator to the 6^th floor. After going through the fashion design department, the 6^th floor magically becomes the 5^th! The elevator on the 5^th floor is the only one that can take you to the 3^rd floor of the new building! I wonder sometimes whether this is purposely designed this way in order to highlight the importance usable design! After all, TAIK is one of the leading institutions in the area of usability and user-inspired design.

Crossroads

I like hostels. To me, they are modern Caravan Sarays: a place to meet world travelers and share stories, learn new things and meet new people. This is not the most comfortable way of traveling; often falling asleep at night is challenging since almost everyone in the dormitory-style rooms snores at night! There was even one guy whose snore sounded like a woodpecker tapping on a tree trunk! Despite all of this, I still prefer hostels to a more luxurious choice of accommodation.

I have already met many interesting people. Ming, an architect from China working on her masters degree in Vienna was the first who greeted me with her smile. She saw me dragging my heavy suitcases towards the hostel and was kind enough to help me carry them to the hostel and up the stairs. I was very grateful. An American lady staying at the hostel told me about the Helsinki Music Festival and her favorite place to buy freshly baked bread in the morning and gave me her map of the city. A pol told me his story about taking the train from Mainz to Koln just few days prior to the police discovery of a suspicious package in the same train. He seemed a bit worried about the security in Europe. Nate, the film student from Hawaii, seemed a bit bored since he didn’t know anyone in the city. He was off to Prague where he will do a semester on exchange. He was sleeping in the bed above mine. I didn’t get to say goodbyes before he left this morning. He left a note by my bed:

“Have a great time studying in Helsinki! – Nate from Hawaii”

Hey, no cutting in line!

My day was rather productive today. I woke up around 5:45 am and left the hostel around 7am. I walked to the train station with two Aussie guys who were headed to St Petersburg. Interesting guys; we had a nice chat before parting. I explored the central station and the surrounding areas as most stores were to open after 9am. There was a nice fruit stand offering fresh strawberries, blueberries and golden apricots to travelers taking trains. They looked delicious; too bad I don’t have a fridge yet.

I had gone to the station to see if I can get my travel card. I was told that I need a letter from the city certifying that I live in Helsinki before getting the special rate for Helsinki residents. So, I headed to the housing office, HOAS, under scattered showers. Fortunately I had my umbrella. People I have encountered in Helsinki are generally quite nice and helpful. A girl was going towards Kamppi shopping mall near the HOAS office, so we walked together and she showed me the direction. I had to pay a deposit before signing my lease so I headed back to Kampi to find a bank.

Opening an account was rather easy. A bit of shopping around helped. The second bank had service charges one-third of the first one and I was able to transfer the deposit to HOAS online at no cost. Online banking is different here. You are given a printed list of passwords. Each password is used only once and you cross it off the list once you use it and proceed to the next password the next time. The system also asks you to enter another code corresponding to a random letter. A table of letters with their corresponding codes is also printed on the document given at the time the account is opened. These codes are re-usable. You cannot change your pin on your bank card and no name or signature appears on your card, so if you loose it, they give you a new card with a new password.

After signing the lease at HOAS and getting the info on the free internet service included in the rent, I headed to register myself in the National Population Information System. This allows you to get a Finnish social security number as well as the document required for buying your travel card (public transport pass). I found their office a bit chaotic. To my surprise, there were no clear line-ups and no number system. Everyone would approach the counter and it seemed that the more aggressive you were, the faster you were served! Cutting in line seemed quite common! And it wasn’t a foreigner who was doing that; it was a senior Finn who quietly ignored my presence and went right in front of me as if I didn’t exist! I didn’t expect this in a Scandinavian country!

The rest of the day went smoothly. I finally got my travel card and loaded it for 60 days of travel. I got my cell number and by 3:30 pm I was already exhausted. I took the tram back to the hostel and went to bed!

Greetings from Helsinki!

I’m finally here! It is 27 degrees and it is pretty humid. The first thing catching one’s eyes after landing in the airport was the yellow grass and dried up trees around the airport. I couldn’t decide if they have had a tough summer or this is the sign of autumn in this nordic land. Then I learned that southern and western parts of Finland have been experiencing their driest summer in a hundred years: many brush fires, lower ground water level and sharp reduction in the availability of wild berries.

I had a good flight. I had to make one of my suitcases a bit lighter in Montréal by removing some toiletry, but I managed to take 2 pieces of hand luggage to London: my laptop and a carry-on. Due to new size restrictions and security measures my hand luggage was processed as hold at no extra cost in London and I carried my laptop without its leather case in a clear plastic bag. Everything worked out finally.

Helsinki airport was pretty quiet. I don’t recall hearing many announcements and I didn’t see any airport staff or officials not even at the customs. I just passed through unguarded gates! There was a passport check, but that was pretty quick and silent as well; not a single question was asked. I am not sure if this had anything to do with the “Finnish polite reserve” I have been reading so much about!

Home

It is exactly 13 years since the day I left my birth place leaving behind all who were dear to me and everything I had come to know in the first 19 years of my life: my family, many good friends and Home. My family and good friends are still a big part of my life even though we may live miles apart. New friends have enriched my life over the past 13 years and many old friendships have strengthened. Home, on the other hand, is a different story. The one I grew up in no longer feels the same and the adoptive one lacks something I cannot put my finger on!

Maybe I didn’t give myself enough time to bond with any place. After all, I have been leading a nomadic life: leaving for Waterloo after only 2 years of living in Montreal; five years of four-month stays, moving from one place to another in pursuit of education and experience, determined to complete what was commenced without questioning the path. I finally returned to Montreal, an Engineer. This time, I stayed a bit longer: nearly 4 years. But the numbers didn’t seem to matter anymore. My heart wasn’t there; I was in the wrong place in my life!

It took me a while to figure it out. Funny what playing with clay can do to you! It started merely as a hobby in fall 2000. But slowly, it allowed me to imagine a life different from the one I was leading. It awakened parts of me that were long forsaken. All of a sudden, going back was no longer an option. It was time to follow my heart. It was time to let passion set the new direction. The nomad in me was awakened again. This time, I had a better sense of who I was and where I wanted to be. Being free of attachments and the lack of belonging seemed liberating. Maybe I didn’t need a place to call Home after all. Maybe Home could be wherever the passion flows!

One thing led to another and I found myself in Ottawa: The School of Industrial Design, daily bike rides by the Rideau Canal, the Parliament Hill, the Alexandria Bridge and the Museum of Civilization. Change of seasons, Wind, Sun, Rain and Snow: 2 years. Little did I know how I would change after all of this!

The first year was crazy. I don’t think I ever had so many all-nighters! I felt the pressure of time and I had high expectations. Two years of studio work was completed in one; something that many doubted was possible. The direction was right this time, but there was something lacking. That was balance. I couldn’t go on like that anymore. It was time to acknowledge the needs long neglected. It was time for new initiatives; the status quo was no longer acceptable!

The second year was much better. Diversified social circles, developing new friendships and few trips out of town to see friends made life more enjoyable. I became more open to new experiences. I even opened my heart. It wasn’t without consequences. There were some ups and downs; there are still some mixed feelings. But it felt right. I was finally learning how to live life, how to enjoy simple pleasures and how to share joyful moments with others. Not everyone was ready, but that’s life!

Ottawa started to feel like Home! I realized this only as I was preparing to leave again! The nomad within had not rested still. Life in Europe, the Scandinavian Design and growth opportunities had lured me to move again. It was luck! I got into the masters program I wanted. The restless nomad was eager to conquer the world! Yet another force wasn’t ready to let go of Ottawa, the new found communities of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Moving wasn’t easy anymore! This ambivalence was new. It was surprising. I couldn’t recall ever thinking twice about moving. Packing and leaving had always been easy. But not this time! Something changed in Ottawa. I was a different man. I had allowed myself to bond. I had finally learned how to make myself at home!

“Secure place and sweet wine and tender friend
If only we could keep these three until the end.
The world and its affairs are all nothing for naught
A thousand times I have inquired of this trend.

Alas that until now I was so unaware
That alchemy of life is to befriend a friend.

Find a refuge and make the best of times
From the thieves of life, that our time waste and spend.
Repenting from the lips of the friend and the smiling cup
Is but a fantasy, a notion reason can’t defend.
Though I cannot ever touch your beautiful hair
On this vivid hope I can gladly depend.
The sweet dimple that adorns your chin, in depth,
A million deep thoughts can’t possibly transcend.
If my tears turn ruby color, say naught
For the seal of your lips, with ruby blend.
Mockingly said, Hafiz, to your every whim I tend
To what depths of mockery must I stoop and descend?”

Ghazal 298, Hafiz [1320 -1389]

It is August 13th again and I am in Montreal preparing for my next move. This time I’m going to Helsinki, Finland. Many things are going through my mind. There is a whole world to discover. There are new experiences waiting to be experienced and there are unknowns. Would I feel at home? Only time would tell.

In this web journal, I am planning to log my daily feelings as I start a new life in Helsinki. This is my first attempt at keeping a journal. It’s a rather personal journal. Some days, I will probably just write a string of words describing my day so this entry might be the longest I will ever write! I will arrive in Helsinki on August 20th, 2006. We will see what happens!